Freedom

Creating New blog

2008-09-28T14:07:00.002-04:00

I have decided to take on the challenge of an Ironman Triathlon. Because I can be self centered at times, (a necesary trait for an Ironman journey) I have decided to blog about my experiences.

The Delusion of Daily Life

2007-11-07T13:06:00.001-05:00

Running at night,
with an absence of light,
sounds emanate from an unseen bird
as it takes flight.

It calls out from the trees,
projecting its pleas, hoping
anyone will listen.

I picked up my pace,
fright crossed my face
as the unseen sound hovers overhead.

Chased down the path,
fear turning to wrath,
instincts propel me forward.

My loss of reason,
no crime of treason.
For listening to fear,
survival is near.
To ignore natures way
Will only betray.

The Surprise I Always Knew

2007-10-04T15:18:00.000-04:00

Came home and found you, waiting.
Alone was I, my life was fading.
A dance of joy, a movement of balance,
A celebration of your many talents.

Arrived finally at the truth
Your reaction was all the proof
Together, always, we shall find
Nothing but a singular mind.

The beauty is all in reach,
Focus on what’s never preached
After-anything always comes
The beat of the clock always drums.

Limitless

2007-10-04T15:12:00.000-04:00

A contented song
from a bird that quietly sings,
and while it rings
a chance to rest,
for at this moment, all is best.

Sharing its simplicity,
never guilty of duplicity
to the following truth:
The sky has no roof.

The chains of the mind
will return, in-kind,
the perception of hell
in exchange for an empty shell.

The things that we hold
as we inevitably grow old
wither away.
But we never leave,
there is nothing to bereave.
Celebration sitting on a branch
Life’s whistle, a wonderful trance.

Ghost Potential

2007-08-27T13:26:00.000-04:00

Sitting in a field, calm and quiet
Thinking about it all, restless as a riot.
I have every reason to feel joy,
realizing my life is no longer a ploy
to obtain wonderful things.

Very little noise, a little bit of sunlight,
The breeze ever so slight.
A still moment captured,
Not quite raptured,
Comfortable, but will not excite.

A day like any other,
Nothing really to change
Why now do I wonder,
Is this so strange?

A turbulent rainstorm, not anywhere found
A peaceful afternoon, my joy should be unbound.
My restless desires, turbulent and never-ending,
No such thing as satisfaction, so I shall stop pretending.

To this impossible idea I am attached.
It is to tranquility I am latched.
Attempt at freedom I may try,
Day in, day out, until I die.

At the horizon I stare,
And unwillingly I bare,
No burden but the future
As I am unable to suture
the wound caused by prayer.

The Best Holiday

2007-08-14T10:44:00.000-04:00

The greatest gift is to be born alone
a human being, not a drone.
Misfortune indoctrinates to a world of the group
scratching around on the floor of a coop.

Those that dance with the power from
the madness of the mind hath numb
a life free from the difference of each,
dependent groups they now must preach.

A plague from the hand of the state
already dead, our funerals wait
Sustained by a repeating virus,
day in, day out, never-ending crisis.

Power obscured by the light of hope,
an individual speaks out, then must cope
with insidious attacks from those without reason.
Ignorance approaches, ‘tis the season.

Smile, You Pussy

2007-07-19T09:25:00.000-04:00

I’m sinking down into the floor
Melting away, as never before
The things I loved, gone away
Why I hurt, I can not say.

Something is wrong, and for no reason
To admit my crime results in treason.
My symbol of a manly life,
Will be cut off with a jagged knife.

Placed upon me, rules and regs
I try to run away, until they cut off my legs.
Accepting my fate, I remain quiet.
To violate a norm shall cause a riot.

The Beauty of Our Fate

2007-07-16T09:52:00.000-04:00

Blessed with the ability to lose,
I ignore the inevitable and celebrate
the lights dancing in the sky.
Together, they intertwine
as a celebration
of a predestined ending.
The light in me will never end,
Though I will.

The Death of the Minuteman

2007-07-12T18:29:00.000-04:00

As the creeping obesity of democracy suffocates,
The individual dies, replaced by a herd,
Fed by delusions of altruism,
Controlled by the power of the word.

Feed the herd love and drive them across the range.
O’ Sheppard, enjoy your way of life.
While you bathe in loosely legitimized power,
The masses trample the spirit of the fife.

The inevitable destruction,
ready for the grind,
The herd has already chosen,
to be served as a meal for the blind.

Found

2007-07-12T18:27:00.000-04:00

A flower in a green meadow,
In the breeze it sways,
A girl walks by, alone
She kneels down, and prays.

The flower is with her,
Behind the ear, tucked.
A spectacular collection of chances,
Upon her the flower lucked.

Replanted with her heart,
No darkness looms.
With the brightness of her blessing,
The flower always blooms.

Home

2007-01-26T10:14:00.000-05:00

You, me, and god,
together, as chance dictates.
impossible ideals with practical applications,
Caught up in the struggle of our instincts.

Let us not forget,
the home we struggle for,
the love we protect,
the life we give,
and the life we take.
Worth Fighting for!

Taking myself too seriously,
Worries about the mundane
Stress but nothing is at stake.
I remember the words
Written from hell
Describing heaven

Let us not forget,
the home we struggle for,
the love we protect,
the life we give,
and the life we take.
Worth Fighting for!

Going home
Going home
Going home

Worth fighting for

Good

2006-11-28T09:39:00.000-05:00

Sparkle, glistening repetitiveness, trance of the eye
Smile, joy of no worry but the present moment.
Blink, a moment to end and make way for the next.
Laugh, the traffic isn't that bad.
Lost, always knowing where you are.
Connection, love togetherness in indra's web.
Arbitrary, light the way and take the path.
Live life as it is lived and it shall be.

A Prayer

2006-11-28T09:37:00.000-05:00

A world connected and empty
Joy and blessings, peace and no fame
Absent of our group delusion,
Absent of our pain.

Smile, look up at the sky
it's always there, soft and blue.
Enjoy a sunrise, and a sunset
take a seat, a natural pew.

Let time stand still
and time will always pass.
holding hands we all pray
every moment a joyous mass.

Alone?

2006-11-22T13:57:00.000-05:00

The breath I take, cold and numb
Every morning finds me blind, deaf, and dumb.
Wish for a happy day, never to obtain,
Accepting my circumstances, I step into the rain.

Lying down in the grass, the sun has dried my skin,
Cover me up with a sheet, notify my next of kin.
Freedom at last from the struggle of the ages,
I’m all alone, everyone else’s battle still rages

As I rot, no light, no life
A moment to mark, and absence of strife
Alone I am, and happy I will never be.
Done with life, many thanks.

The Pain of Expectations

2006-08-30T22:50:00.000-04:00

The future, an empty agreement
broken without notice.
an empty bank account
along with an uncomfortable lotus.

Reach a finish line,
No breath.
Pressure of the dirt,
Slowly crushing you to death.

Fulfill your life,
Take the bait
And endless progression
To your ultimate fate.

To expect is not to achieve
To act is to believe.

333

2006-06-28T23:17:00.000-04:00

Looking at you,
a ray of light,
alone in presence,
brightness in the night.

Distance, an arbitrary measure.
A space controlled by none.
An ocean of feeling
without reflection of the sun.

Hand in hand we fly
sharing the same heart
soaring through the clouds,
alone, yet never apart.

Star

2006-06-19T22:37:00.000-04:00

A million miles away
I look through the lens
I see burning consumption
Do I fear us, it depends

Paths of uncertainty
The expected value of grief
Only one realistic outcome
But I will never have relief

I choose a certain path
That will only lead to pain
The exhilaration of my present
Will cancel out my refrain.

Touch

2006-06-10T19:14:00.000-04:00

Face to face
Our bodies press
I feel your hand
A warm caress.

Breath pouring
Down the neck
Our hidden delight
Unable to check.

The rising sun
Penetrates the dark
Together again with
The sounds of the lark.

The Branch

2006-06-09T14:30:00.000-04:00

I speak loud
And you will listen.
The gangrenous choice
covering what used to glisten.

You spread your hate
To every branch in the tree
The inevitable ending,
I wait and see

Your soil is poison
Your speech is slurred
Slow suicide by choice
Now I have demurred.

Your choice,
my meditation,
My choice,
your amputation.

On the Death of U.B.

2006-06-05T22:55:00.001-04:00

Are you fucking happy
At the end of your career
Inarticulate choices,
living in your fear.

They look to me for help
And drink away life
Accusing me of authority
Adding to my strife.

Choices by us all,
Affecting the strong,
our cancerous destruction,
far away, but not for long.

The first line was borrowed

2006-06-04T11:32:00.000-04:00

Its been a while
Since I looked deep,
Afraid of what I would find
I finally took the leap.

Falling from darkness
Soaring to a height
I prayed and found you,
cutting through the night.

So here I am
naked and shining
The light of the moon
on my soul’s inner lining

Freed from fear
I breath the air
Warmth in the lungs
Together without a care.

A Church in the Woods

2006-03-07T17:57:00.000-05:00

A reverent moment surrounded
by the irreverent structure,
A house of your beliefs.
The voice of the preacher
screeches over God's voices
echoing in the trees.
Your lessons are shrouded
by someone else's life.
The truth in the house of God
is the resurrection,
returning to beginning.

(original draft)

A reverent moment
Surrounded by the irreverent
Structure housing your beliefs.
The voice of the preacher
Screeching over the voice
Of the gods that echo in the trees.
The lessons of life are shrouded by the
Lessons of someone else's life.
The only truth in the house of God
Is the resurrection of his life,
Returning to his beginning.

Heaven

2006-03-07T17:50:00.000-05:00

Drifting away on a wooden cross
Sharks smelling blood
Your turn for the afterlife
In the belly of a predator.
The ultimate irony
Is that you will live on,
As a part of something
that is hunted.

I Forgot

2006-03-07T17:41:00.000-05:00

The last poem written for you
placed in a bottle
floating away in your regrets,
A journey across the never-ending ocean.
As I sit,
warmed by the sun
Surrounded by gulls
Wrapped in peace
I read a book not yet written.
A light of discovery
Illuminating the onward march
To the next adventure, or the next war.

River (this is the original draft)

This is the last poem
Written for you.
A chance placed in a bottle
floating away in your regrets
from the hellish glacier
to the warm coast.
Sitting in the sun
Surrounded by gulls
Wrapped in peace
I read a book
Not yet written,
A renaissance
Of discovery
Illuminating the onward march
To the next adventure,
Or the next war.

2006-02-18T15:29:00.000-05:00

The business of life,
segmented needs
captured in a database.
exsistence as a record
tracked by those who want.
A tangible profit
enriching the empty,
The search for my profit,
occurs everytime the sun rises.

Something We All Have

2006-02-16T19:00:00.000-05:00

Released into the bright sky
Soaring through the moment,
I look down upon the world below.
The smell of the air
Untouched by humanity
Reminds me of the innocent
Entrance into the world below.
Flying through the clouds
I can no longer see
What I once was.
Gliding in the wind,
My graceful approach
Is admired by those
Who don’t have wings.
But no one is there to watch me.

One Truth

2006-02-16T18:41:00.000-05:00

A history of the world
reproduced in each individual.
The rise and fall
penetrating the boredom
of our organic limits.
A caged bird will be set free
only to be caged again.
Singing gleefully,
I walk down the path
with the one truth.

Again

2006-02-11T00:05:00.000-05:00

A heavy weight
upon the eyes.
The tired cheeks
ready to rest.
Sobering up
from the buzz of the new.
The heavy warmth
bearing down on the body.
The moon will end a life,
The sunrise will create one.

afterbirth

2006-02-11T00:00:00.000-05:00

a smile
upon birth.
reaching for freedom
again and again.
Cut of the chord
and scarred for life.
The future generation
of the same organism
thrilled to be socialized,
again.

A walk in the woods

2006-02-08T22:20:00.000-05:00

A whistle
calling my eyes
to something I did not know
was there.
A sight standing still,
inquisitive.
I was invited in
to heaven.
For a moment
I was at peace,
an organic moment that
will live forever.

Guess What?

2006-02-08T22:15:00.000-05:00

I stand on a mountain
damaged by frost,
a slight warmth
bearing down on my soul.
The clouds are clearing,
a signal for the chattering
optomism to echo through the trees.
It was a hard climb
that one day may be repeated
One day,
But not today.

My Writing

2006-02-05T16:06:00.000-05:00

A temporary effect
Recorded
By a permanent
Combination of
1 and 0.
The meaning,
Owned by the world,
Is really owned by the moment.
The passing snapshot
Fondly remembered
And painfully relived
Is a part of
Everyone.

I hesitate to publish this

2006-02-05T15:49:00.000-05:00

The newborn cries,
Because it doesn’t know better.
I cry,
But I do know better.
No-one sees
My broken down body
Lying in the ditch.
Should I accept
Castration by the eyes
and a gospel
That will lead
to hell?

Attack

2006-02-05T15:40:00.000-05:00

Talent,
fed by decomposition
produces an ending.
A leach crawling up the leg,
A maggot eating rotten flesh,
Instincts
that push us onward,
to the inevitability
of things.

A Reminder to Forget

2006-02-05T15:23:00.000-05:00

A moment of weakness
In a world of weakness
Driven by thoughts
That are not our own.
I broke down.
The destruction of the sunrise,
Inevitable,
In its onward march
To be forgotten,
Then repeated.
All we need to do,
Is look up
And be blinded by the sun.

The Bulimics

2006-02-04T17:52:00.000-05:00

The dark night
Destroyed the moon,
Running from the wind I arrive.
Sitting on the couch
With the infinite spaces
Between 0 and 1
Adding up to nothing,
We purge.
We’ve created no truth,
And accepted our disorder:
The unavoidable ending
Of everything,
And of nothing.

Civil Liberites

2006-01-30T14:47:00.000-05:00

Erosion
Is the nature of things.
It destroys
And creates.
Our destruction
Of living thought
And the creation
Of invulnerability
Removes us
From obligation.
The word of god
Creates our life
And we no longer question.
The anorexic apathy
Will continue,
Until we can be harvested
In the late summer sun.

Unavoidable

2006-01-30T14:42:00.000-05:00

Crack pipe,
The addiction
Will never go away.
I close my eyes
and feel the
Ecstasy.
Inhaling
The chemical
Rapture,
My life is complete.
When it is near,
I tremble.
When it’s gone,
I obsess.
I am always
Searching
For another fix
Because
Without it,
I am nothing.
Without she,
I am nothing.

2006-01-30T14:35:00.000-05:00

Thrusting torture,
The inquisition
That can not
be outlawed.
I bleed,
But never die.

I am God

2006-01-30T13:56:00.000-05:00

The burden
of omnipotence
covered by
a blindfold
to keep life interesting.
Joining the gods
that only reside in hell,
I see,
I suffer.
The flames prevent
ingestion of life.
The chest,
in a rapid fit of convulsion,
holds on to consciousness,
crushed under the weight
of the truth I have created.

Random Words

2006-01-30T13:44:00.000-05:00

Random Words
that mean nothing,
but mean everything.
A genetic menu
to tailor
thoughts
that resolve the chemical
disputes
residing within our animal.
Only god knows
what it really means.

I Forgot

2006-01-22T14:29:00.000-05:00

Alone,
But for the birds
That pierced the solitude,
And pierced the pain.
Standing there,
Wrapped in simplicity,
My lament ended.

The reminders
Echoing through the trees
Are reclaimed
By the rightful heir.

I exist because of a god
Defined by senses,
And am reminded
Of the simplicity
Of it all.

Natural

2006-01-22T14:25:00.000-05:00

Sitting on lake
Talking to birds
Watching their
Unavoidable Courtship
Driven by instinct.
The animal looks,
The animal lusts,
The animal loves,
Wrapped up in the
the mist,
Concealing
No truth,
The animal in me
Looks,
Lusts,
Loves.

Sitting on a Mountain

2006-01-20T10:54:00.000-05:00

The greatness of a moment
That has to end
As all moments do.
The inevitable
Destruction
Of all creation
Is the
Way with our specis.
Can I run and hide,
Should I run and hide,
No.
The predestined
Payment
Of a rapturous moment
Is worth the risk.

Parallel

2006-01-20T10:27:00.000-05:00

Evaporation,
The sun waves it wand
And the body cools.
Necessary for life
But not always when it is needed.
The loan of a biological life
Was called
At a time
When the sun was rising.
We watched the sun rise together.

the things that separate us from nature

2006-01-09T23:39:00.000-05:00

the destruction
of our creation.
the avoidance of our fate.
the ignorance of no truth.
all found
in the thing
we hate the most.
giver of life,
provider of sensation,
I discovered
when talking to a thrush.

do you see it?

2006-01-09T23:29:00.000-05:00

in the house of god
a chorus of light
beckons me to salvation.
I live in the house
and await
my journey to heaven.
in due time
after I have given all,
I can join
the chorus of light.

Full

2005-11-28T10:14:00.000-05:00

exceptional nothingness,
free from everything,
exsiting
without
pain

the torturous
chemicals
evaporating,
our gods
leave us alone
but never lonely

dying to live,
true freedom
is living to die

Tightrope

2005-11-28T10:05:00.000-05:00

crossing the gorge,
birds whistling
in the background
wrapping their warm
conversation around
the onlookers.
the sounds of life,
echoing
in the trees,
inviting everyone
to stay.
a breeze
rustling,
reminders
of the inevitable.
a snapshot reminds
me,
of a day
like all others.

It Does Not Matter

2005-11-27T16:37:00.000-05:00

A game of chance
at a table
with the gods of our time.
Preaching the gospel,
our souls are the bet.
They lose,
We win.

Assholes

2005-11-27T16:29:00.000-05:00

A big bully
in a little box
connected to those
who play
Russian Roulet.
Swallow the barrel,
make it yours,
and plug into
the collective thought
of our gods.
High above us,
they look down
in disgust
at the world
they recreate
with every broadcast.

Red and Blue

2005-11-27T16:21:00.000-05:00

The question is asked
The question is answered
And the bastard is adopted.
The electronic orphanage
Feeding you gruel
To be regurgitated
At the first sign
of Disagreement.
We drown in
Your vomit,
Choking up
The beauty
Of independence.

Equality of Ideas

2005-11-27T16:09:00.000-05:00

The new racism
No-one sees.
Blinded by
The clutter of 1000
news stories at once,
my eyes bleed.
The unholy gift of the age
Spreads its syphilitic madness
Until our destruction is complete.
Equality of ideas
Won’t happen until we
murder our gods.

Unavoidable

2005-10-03T21:25:00.000-04:00

dreaming
of spiders
threatening to scare
a moment of tenderness

Roaches,
Beetles,
a black widow,
sucking the life
out of love

Cover them,
hide them,
but they are still present.

a moment of love
turned to a
moment of lust

spiders will get us all.

Transformation

2005-09-28T18:32:00.000-04:00

Landslide!
Breathing dirt,
crushed by rocks,
digested by maggots.
I've taken my place
in the nitrogen cycle

Forgotten.
A blink of the eye.
She picks wildflowers
from my old prison
without walls.

clarification

2005-07-03T15:23:00.000-04:00

Wow, I sound like a preacher. Many of the comments I’ve made sound like I’m directing people to live their life according to the “dogma” that influences my life. This is not the case. I write about the things that are important to me…..but I will never tell another person how to live their life, unless it negatively affects others. Just because I cling to a certain idea does not make it the right idea. I am only in control of my own destiny.

Who Am I, Really?

2005-07-03T14:55:00.000-04:00

Smelling Death,
Covered in blood,
A few breaths left.
I look,
And add up
My life.

A large sum
Dying,
Stored in a vault.
Buried
Under a heap of compost

But the memories live on.

Cutter

2005-06-22T21:46:00.000-04:00

Scraping skin
Tearing flesh
Warm drops drip
and color the bathroom floor.

Can you finally feel?

Taste the blood
Smear it
All over your body
A feast for maggots
Grown in your landfill of hate.

Keep picking the scab
So it never heals
Then die
And accept
The scientific depreciation
Of who you are.

Means to an End

2005-05-13T05:28:00.000-04:00

Silenced by reason
I ask why
And god answers.
But I do not understand
The language
I can’t interpret the unholy

But the experts can.

The academic can interpret
The dead languages
And meet his own ends
While creating a means
For the blind.

Ambition

2005-03-23T10:04:00.000-05:00

Force Fed
To prevent thought
We don't see
The beauty of insignificance.
A drop of water
Going over a waterfall,
A leaf
Brown and dead,
A star
On the walk of fame,
All represent the natural bill of rights.

*******note, I'm gonna try something different. I'm gonna post what the words mean to me. If you would rather assign your own meaning to the words, don't read the post.

The Effects of a Sunday Morning

2005-02-03T17:47:00.000-05:00

An altruistic death
worshipped.
Bled to death
and picked apart by vultures.
The rotten stench of resurrection
invading the nostrils.
The sound of scavengers fighting
invading the ears.
The sight of rotten skin
invading the eyes.
This is what we worship?
Fear creates myth
so we worship death,
not life.

How will I die?

2005-01-26T19:07:00.000-05:00

I stand here
In the middle of a an air raid.
Bombs falling,
Bunkers busting,
Fire dancing around me
Like a party in hell.
I will stand here and raise my fist,
Until something takes me.

Live Now

2005-01-26T18:58:00.000-05:00

Stewing in my own gray matter
I discovered the answer
to all my questions.
A stranded pedestrian,
a dead baby,
a hospital patient,
all have the answer in common.
To continue the cycle
and take
their place in the scientific devaluation
off all that we are.

What I fear

2005-01-26T18:51:00.000-05:00

Chest tight,
breathing hard,
sweating profusely.

An asthmatic's nightmare
played out every night.

Gasping for air
I grab your hand.
We touch and caress

Time to Think

2005-01-26T18:46:00.000-05:00

Trapped in a box
soft, satin, and smooth
I hear the sounds of life
around me.

As I lie on my back,
I think of
all that I am,
all that I was,
and all that I could have been.

All I could have been
is an addiction
to the life
that surrounds me.

Free Will

2005-01-26T18:34:00.000-05:00

To lose control
of thought
and action
and feeling
will kill the Spring.
Autumn encourages
the maggots
which feed on our bodies.
Resurrection will save us,
but you hate God.
Hating God is a choice.
Make the right choice.

Bird's Eye View

2004-08-23T00:13:00.000-04:00

Ramblings of a lunatic,
or at least that's what they'll say,
or at least that's what I think they'll say.
Standing on a pole,
waiting to be nailed to the cross,
I jumped........and missed.
I was resurrected 50 ft above the ground.
Ramblings of a lunatic, possibly,
but who gives a shit.

A New Chance

2004-08-23T00:04:00.000-04:00

Here's to old friends
and new adventures.
Every night we die.
Everyday we are resurrected
to create a new world
for you, for me,
and for all.
A new adventure begins with the opening of your eyes.

It's clear to me

2004-08-22T20:50:00.000-04:00

What else can I say?
It's your time to die.
After your death you will be
worshipped, resurrected.
Then you will recreate the world,
my world.

To her

2004-08-22T20:40:00.000-04:00

Dancing during prayer,
religious exhilaration without the weight of a god's ideology.
Joy in its purest form is never forgotten,
only relived.
Let's reincarnate our love, not relive it.

Awake

2004-07-29T22:03:00.000-04:00

The world can now consume my innermost thoughts. Please don't choke.

I was sitting in a sweatbox waiting to decompose. All I needed to do is open the door. It only took 26 years to figure that out. What's next? Part of the fun is not knowing.